I am not a cook. I lack the patience and attention to detail required by most recipes. But, sometimes, I can get by. Below are recipes. Some I use on a regular basis,
while others are here because of family legacy and good intentions. I've marked each with a Disaster Rating, based on how likely I am to totally screw up the finished product. ~Katherine
Aunt Martha's Buttermilk Brownies
2 cups Flour
2 cups Sugar
2 sticks Oleo
4 tsp. Cocoa
1 cup Water
2 Eggs
1/4 cup Buttermilk
1 tsp. Vanilla
1 tsp. Baking Soda
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Bring water, oleo & cocoa to a boil. Pour over dry ingredients. Add eggs, buttermilk, vanilla & baking soda. Mix well. Pour into cookie sheet, bake 20 min.
Frosting
1 stick Oleo
4 Tbsp. Cocoa
1 lb. Powdered Sugar
1 tsp. Vanilla
Bring to a boil. Frost while still hot.
Disaster Rating:
I'm not sure I've ever made Aunt Martha's brownies, but I can guarantee you that it would not be pretty.
Banana Nut Bread
1/2 cup Veg. Oil
1 cup Sugar
2 eggs, beaten
3 ripe Bananas, mashed
2 cups Flour
1 tsp. Baking Soda
1/2 tsp. Baking Powder
1/2 tsp. Salt
3 Tbsp. Milk
1/2 tsp. Vanilla
1/2 cup chopped Nuts
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Beat oil and sugar together. Add eggs & banana pulp and beat well. Add sifted dry ingredients, milk & vanilla. Mix well & stir in nuts. Pour into greased, floured loaf pan.
Bake at 350 degrees for one hour.
Cool well and store overnight before cutting.
Disaster Rating:
Again, I don't remember actually trying this recipe, but I might. Despite its use of both baking powder and soda. And a loaf pan.
Beef Frito Pie
1 lb. Ground Beef
3/4 cup chopped Onion
1 can crushed or diced Tomatoes, drained
3/4 cup Ketchup
1 can Hot Chili Beans, drained
1 tsp. Chili Powder
1/2 tsp. Cumin
1 1/2 tsp. Salt
1/2 tsp. Ground Black Pepper
1 1/4 cup shredded American Cheese
Corn Chips
Preheat oven to 300 degrees.
In a skillet, brown ground beef, then drain. Add onions and simmer until onions are cooked. Add tomatoes, ketchup, chili beans, and spices. Mix and bring to a boil. Transfer beef mixture into a casserole dish. Top with shredded cheese. Bake until cheese is melted. Top with corn chips.
Disaster Rating:
I believe it is philosophically impossible to screw up a recipe that involves ketchup.
Eric's Chocolate Martini
1 part Vanilla Vodka
2 parts Crème de Cocoa, light or dark
4 parts Milk, Skim or 1%
Pour ingredients into a martini shaker over a couple of ice cubes. Shake well.
Disaster Rating:
Eric doesn't drink, but I do and I love chocolate like the flower loves the soft spring rain. This drink was created in an effort to provide the perfect succor for an unhappy Katherine.
There is no way to screw this up unless you have a defective shaker. Which I do.
Hawaiian Cashew Beef
Beef, a couple of pounds
Marinade:
5 oz. Water
3 Tbsp. Lite Soy Sauce
2.5 tsp. Sesame Oil
2 Tbsp. Oyster Sauce
Sesame Oil
Green Onions, a nice big bunch per pound of meat
1 - 3 tsp. minced Garlic
1/4 cup grated Ginger per pound of meat
(Don't skimp on the veggies!)
1 - 3 tsp. Chinese Chili Sauce
Cashews, lots of them
Night Before:
Cut meat into bite-sized chunks. Add marinade. Cover and refrigerate.
Day of:
Add a small amount of sesame oil to a hot skillet. Stir fry vegetables, 2-3 minutes. Drain meat, retaining marinade. Add meat. Add chili sauce to taste. Simmer until meat is browned through. If the mixture gets too dry, add a small amount of marinade. The result should be saucy.
Top with cashews and serve over rice or noodles.
Disaster Rating:
Despite the ingredients and the marinade, this is a pretty easy recipe. I make it frequently and rarely screw it up. The only thing that can go wrong is the use of too much chili sauce.
Remember, more can be added to taste, but not taken away. I give this two disaster berries only because as *always* screw up making rice.
Mediterranean Chicken
Sauce:
2 cans diced Tomatoes with Garlic and Onion, or the like
1 small can sliced Black Olive
1 cup Green Olives, sliced
Pour ingrediants into a large bowl. Cover. Microwave for 3 - 6 mins.
Chicken:
2 - 3 Chicken Breast halves, boneless & skinless
4 Tbsp. Olive Oil
1 Tbsp. Italian Seasoning
Spinkle oil and seasoning over chicken. Grill until done.
Serve over Pasta with Feta Cheese.
Disaster Rating:
The toughest part here is grilling the chicken. If possible, have an experienced chicken griller on hand.
Paul's Shepherd's Pie
1 Tbsp. Olive Oil
1 Red Pepper, 1/4" dice
1 Medium Onion, 1/4" dice
1 lb. Ground Beef
2+ tsp. Montreal Steak Seasoning
1 can Condensed Tomato Soup
1/2 lb. Frozen Corn
1/2 lb. Frozen Peas
2/3 bag Frozen Hash Brown Potatoes
1 cup shredded Cheddar Cheese
Prepare Hash Browns according to the package. Set aside.
Defrost Peas and Corn in mircowave. Do not "overcook" while defrosting.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Heat the oil in a skillet, add the peppers and onions, cook until start to turn translucent, add the ground beef and steak seasoning and cook until ground beef is fully cooked. Add the soup, corn, and peas and mix it well. Put in a 9x13 baking dish, top with the potatos, bake at 350 for 20 minutes, sprinkle with cheese and bake another 10 minutes.
Disaster Rating:
Easy and tasty, this is a based on a recipe by PaulJohn. I used to be a shepard's pie traditionalist, which means I only ate
shepard's pie like my mom used to make. But the world is wide and varied... Also, this makes *a lot*. Be prepared to half the recipe or eat for a week.
Oatmeal Scotchies
2 cups Flour
1 cup Butter or Oleo
2 Eggs
1 1/2 cups Quick Oats
2 tsp. Baking Powder
1 tsp. Salt
1 1/2 cups Brown Sugar
1 Tbps. Water
1 pkg. Butterscotch Morsels
Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
Beat until creamy: butter, brown sugar, eggs, and water. Gradually add dry ingredients. Stir in oats, butterscotch morsels. Drop by Tbsp. on greased cookie sheets.
Bake 10 - 12 mins.
Disaster Rating: See Below
Peanut Butter Cookies
Cream together:
2 sticks of Butter or Oleo
1 cup Sugar
1 cup Brown Sugar
Stir in:
1 cup Peanut Butter
1 tsp. Vanilla
Beat in:
2 3/4 cups Flour
1/2 tsp. Salt
2 tsp. Baking Soda
Bake at 350 degrees for 9 - 12 mins.
Disaster Rating:
Any cookie is a four berry disaster in the making. They'll come out flat and, shall we say, variable. But not inedible. For the most part.
Tater Topped Casserole
1 lb. Ground Beef
1/2 cup diced Onion
1/3 cup diced Celery
1/8 tsp. Salt
1/8 tsp. Black Pepper
1 can Cream of Mushroom Soup
Tater Tots
Preheat oven to 300 degrees.
In a skillet, brown the ground beef, then drain. Add onion, celery, salt & pepper and simmer until onions are cooked. Add mushroom soup and bring to a boil. Transfer mixture to a casserole dish and place tater tots in rows on top of the meat mixture. Bake for 30 minutes.
Disaster Rating:
For some reason, I always have problems with this being too cold, too runny, not seasoned enough. *shrug*